This post is part of The Modesty Panel, a series focusing on the concept of modesty from the perspectives of various bra bloggers. Each of us has experiences, beliefs and assumptions about modesty that influence how we blog about breasts, and this week we are taking the time to share our views. Make sure to check some of the other posts out!

When I was 16, I was still at that inbetween phase with clothes, where you haven’t quite found what you love or really works on you . I loved colours and patterns, but as a teenager with big boobs, I was pretty limited in the shirt department. I mostly stuck to plain vest tops with pretty skirts, so my usual outfit was something like the below. It was pretty, comfortable, cool in hot weather…basically, it ticked all the boxes. The only “problem” is that it showed a bit of cleavage. Which, for a 16 year old in the middle of summer, really wasn’t a big deal.

Me at 16

After class one day, I was walking home with my then-boyfriend, when we passed a group of guys. You know the type – loud, obnoxious, and as I’m sure you can predict, they started making lewd comments at me. It wasn’t new. It’s something I got used to pretty much as soon as I hit puberty. I could write a whole post on catcalling alone, but that isn’t what I want to talk about today. My boyfriend was furious. Not because I had been harassed, not because I can’t even walk down the street without being blatantly objectified and disrespected. He was furious because of what I was wearing. Because my top showed some cleavage, he accused me of looking for attention. My boyfriend of nearly 2 years decided that I must want to be catcalled. He called me a lot of names I won’t repeat, and demanded I start wearing t-shirts.

All of that because I was wearing a vest top. Sure, I could change what I wear, and it might result in a few less comments. But why should I have to? What’s so wrong with my breasts? Why was the problem me? Continue reading →