The Modesty Panel: What I Wear is None of your Damn Business.

This post is part of The Modesty Panel, a series focusing on the concept of modesty from the perspectives of various bra bloggers. Each of us has experiences, beliefs and assumptions about modesty that influence how we blog about breasts, and this week we are taking the time to share our views. Make sure to check some of the other posts out!

When I was 16, I was still at that inbetween phase with clothes, where you haven’t quite found what you love or really works on you . I loved colours and patterns, but as a teenager with big boobs, I was pretty limited in the shirt department. I mostly stuck to plain vest tops with pretty skirts, so my usual outfit was something like the below. It was pretty, comfortable, cool in hot weather…basically, it ticked all the boxes. The only “problem” is that it showed a bit of cleavage. Which, for a 16 year old in the middle of summer, really wasn’t a big deal.

Anna16Me at 16

After class one day, I was walking home with my then-boyfriend, when we passed a group of guys. You know the type – loud, obnoxious, and as I’m sure you can predict, they started making lewd comments at me. It wasn’t new. It’s something I got used to pretty much as soon as I hit puberty. I could write a whole post on catcalling alone, but that isn’t what I want to talk about today. My boyfriend was furious. Not because I had been harassed, not because I can’t even walk down the street without being blatantly objectified and disrespected. He was furious because of what I was wearing. Because my top showed some cleavage, he accused me of looking for attention. My boyfriend of nearly 2 years decided that I must want to be catcalled. He called me a lot of names I won’t repeat, and demanded I start wearing t-shirts.

All of that because I was wearing a vest top. Sure, I could change what I wear, and it might result in a few less comments. But why should I have to? What’s so wrong with my breasts? Why was the problem me? Continue reading

Why I Believe Bra-Fitting is a Feminist Issue

As most of my readers will know, I consider my blog to be primarily a lingerie and feminism blog. However, at least on my wordpress, feminism posts have been far and few between – my blog focus is usually on bra fitting and reviews. What I haven’t mentioned is that I consider bra fitting itself to be a feminist issue, and today I thought I’d take a minute to give a few reasons why. Continue reading

Breast implants

A couple of weeks ago something happened that really annoyed me. I’d taken my mum to fit her for new bras, and my older sister had come along, who also needs fitting. She’s had two kids, so she’s lost a lot of fullness in her breasts.

The thing that really annoyed me was that she was talking about this, and announced that she needed implants. When I disagreed, and said there was nothing wrong with her breasts, my mum argued with me and said she understood what she meant, and my 24-year-old sister did indeed “need” implants. Since then, she’s also decided that she will get them as part of her new year’s resolutions, along with a tummy tuck.

Now I understand why she might want them – but it still got to me. I’ve been coming to the realisation that, well, what’s wrong with saggy breasts? What’s wrong with stretchmarks? Mummy tummy? Excess skin? A lack of fullness? What’s wrong with being chubby? It might not be the societally perfect image of how a body should look, but who says that image is right? To me, all of the above tell a story – a lot of them, in this case, of having children. I can see why she might prefer it and that’s her choice, but it really upset and annoyed me how she said she “needed” them – and my own mother agreed.

To me, every body is beautiful, and the fact that we’ve got to a point where something as natural as a woman’s body after children apparently necessitates surgery really worries me. Big breasts, small breasts, sagginess, chubbiness, stretchmarks – what does it matter? Every tiny “imperfection” tells a story. Your body is beautiful not because society says it is, but because it is your body, and nobody can tell you how you should look.

EDIT: To clarify before questions, the intention of this post is not to judge, shame, or offend anyone who has had implants (or any other surgery). It is a personal choice, different for every individual. The aim of this is only to question a society which makes some women think their body is “wrong” and needs “fixing”.