Trigger warning: Rape and sexual assault.
In the past I have talked about my mental health issues and how it affects my blogging. What I haven’t mentioned on my blog before is that November is a difficult month for me, and in particular, today is a difficult day for me. But this week, I am struggling to think about much else.
Today, I am thinking about consent.
Consent infographic by Haven Oakland
Trigger warning: Discussion of street harassment, catcalling and assault.
As many people will have noticed, yesterday was International Women’s Day. International Women’s Day is a global event, in which many people take the time to celebrate the achievements of feminism and to consider how far we still have to go – and yes, we definitely have a long way to go. Unfortunately, International Women’s Day also seems to enrage or annoy many people, who, rather than taking the time to learn about why the event is still necessary, instead complain, “What’s the point? Women got equality 50 years ago. If women get a day, why is there no International Men’s Day?”. Explaining all of the current issues feminism is tackling is a huge subject, one which I am not going to try to attempt. But, since it’s International Women’s Day, I thought I would take the time to write a short post focused on feminism. In particular, I would like to talk about my experiences with objectification and street harassment.
Femme Nation: Part of a photo series by Hailey Corrall.
I have recently been listening to a lot of music centred around body positivity, self-acceptance and self-love. Whenever I’m having a bad day – whether poor body image, low self-worth, or just not knowing what I’m doing with my life – I listen to some of these songs. This isn’t my usual sort of post, but these songs have helped me, and I thought I would share.
Recently, some other bloggers and I have been thinking about diversity in the world of lingerie. At the moment, it is extremely rare to see full-bust lingerie modelled by anyone who does not fit the usual mould – namely white, young, able-bodied, feminine, conventionally attractive, moderately curvy, slim cis women. There is little to no representation of women of colour, plus size women, women with visible disabilities, older women, women with other body types, trans women, women with body hair, or women with scars/cellulite/stretch marks. For this reason, we would like to start a campaign: one asking for Diversity In Lingerie.
#DiversityInLingerie
We would like to encourage lingerie-wearers of ALL bodies and backgrounds to join in with this. As a white, able-bodied, hourglassy cis woman in her 20’s, I would say bodies similar to mine are already fairly well represented, so I am not participating to ask for more models that look like me. By participating you can show the lingerie industry that, yes, you would buy lingerie from a diverse group of models, not just the ones currently shown. Continue reading
This post is part of The Modesty Panel, a series focusing on the concept of modesty from the perspectives of various bra bloggers. Each of us has experiences, beliefs and assumptions about modesty that influence how we blog about breasts, and this week we are taking the time to share our views. Make sure to check some of the other posts out!
When I was 16, I was still at that inbetween phase with clothes, where you haven’t quite found what you love or really works on you . I loved colours and patterns, but as a teenager with big boobs, I was pretty limited in the shirt department. I mostly stuck to plain vest tops with pretty skirts, so my usual outfit was something like the below. It was pretty, comfortable, cool in hot weather…basically, it ticked all the boxes. The only “problem” is that it showed a bit of cleavage. Which, for a 16 year old in the middle of summer, really wasn’t a big deal.
Me at 16
After class one day, I was walking home with my then-boyfriend, when we passed a group of guys. You know the type – loud, obnoxious, and as I’m sure you can predict, they started making lewd comments at me. It wasn’t new. It’s something I got used to pretty much as soon as I hit puberty. I could write a whole post on catcalling alone, but that isn’t what I want to talk about today. My boyfriend was furious. Not because I had been harassed, not because I can’t even walk down the street without being blatantly objectified and disrespected. He was furious because of what I was wearing. Because my top showed some cleavage, he accused me of looking for attention. My boyfriend of nearly 2 years decided that I must want to be catcalled. He called me a lot of names I won’t repeat, and demanded I start wearing t-shirts.
All of that because I was wearing a vest top. Sure, I could change what I wear, and it might result in a few less comments. But why should I have to? What’s so wrong with my breasts? Why was the problem me? Continue reading